Showing posts with label Allison Haskins. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Allison Haskins. Show all posts

Friday, January 20, 2012

Finding the Funny: Books You NEED to Read in Your Lifetime


By Contributor Allison Haskins


The two things I love most in the world are reading and comedy. When I stumble upon the wonderful gems that incorporate both, my heart starts doing backflips and shooting off tiny fireworks. OK, so maybe I’m just a book nerd who happens to have a fantastic sense of humor … either way, I know what I’m talking about and you need to trust me.

In hopes that someday you can be as enthralled with your literary choices as I am, I have compiled a list of some of my favorite funnies. Do with this information what you will, but if you take the time to read them (and it should be fairly easy with computers, Kindles, iPhones, iPads, and, last but not least — actual books!), you will not regret it. 

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Hypocrite in a Poufy White Dress
 by Susan Jane Gilman

This book is actually a New York Times Bestseller, so if you haven’t read it, stop what you’re doing (after this paragraph of course) and go get it! To sum it up, it’s a memoir-style book about growing up and how ridiculous life retrospectively was. Susan Jane Gilman does an amazing job at portraying herself and her life in a fresh and hilarious way, partly because her life itself has been quite a crazy ride. She covers it all — from being a conniving 5-year-old, to a rebellious and hopeless teenager, and then an adult who is still just as lost and confused as she was when she was 15. Yet, through it all, she maintains humor and hope that things will somehow turn around and maybe even reach normalcy. 


Laugh Line: “… while other kids my age were preparing for confirmations and bat mitzvahs, I’d developed a relationship with God that consisted solely of begging for breasts.”

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My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler

Chelsea Handler has been gaining celebrity by leaps and bounds over the past couple years, yet people who aren’t huge Handler fans may have missed her first book, which she wrote before anyone even knew who she was. As it might appear from the title, this book is, in fact, a chronicle of Handler’s one night stands during her late teens and 20s. If you don’t laugh out loud at her crazy thoughts, actions, and debauchery, something is wrong with you. 


Laugh Line: “I couldn’t afford a run-in with this guy in front of my new suitor. There were only three things he could bring up: my vagina, his anus, and his Ecstasy that I stole.”


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After a very young Stephanie Wilder moved to California in an attempt to start over, chaos ensued in various forms before she was able to get on the straight and narrow. She details experiences including competing on a game show, experimenting with drugs, and working as a telemarketer. Throughout the book, Wilder is bitterly honest in discussing a rough life in which she’s made a lot of mistakes, but each step of the way she’s able to look back, with humor, on what she has been and done. 

Laugh Line: “She made the face women make when they discover they’ve accidentally been drinking regular Coke instead of Diet.”


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This is one of a handful of books by Lancaster, all of which are equally amazing. Self described as a raging narcissist, she also battles with job problems, weight issues, relationship ups and downs, and shitty neighbors. The mix of these troubles, along with her abnormally high self-esteem, results in a hilarity that the average person never gets to experience. Maybe I’m the weird one, but when I finished these books, I really and truly wanted to be friends with Lancaster and get to better understand what goes on in her batshit crazy head. 

Laugh Line: “I’m back on Atkins today. For lunch I had one and a half Burger King Texas Whoppers minus the bun. Shameful.”


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I Don't Care About Your Band: What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I've Dated by Julie Klausner 

In short, Klausner is a Jewish, redheaded, promiscuous gal who enjoys the occasional high. As a late bloomer in the guy department, she had to make up for lost time! Her book is a compilation of experiences including bad first dates, loving losers, searching for Mr. Right (or Right Now), and all the amusing mishaps that happen in between. Also, you should check out her podcast, How Was Your Week,for a dose of funny every seven days. (A tip of the hat to WICF Contributor Barbara Holm for also loving Klausner!) 


Laugh Line: “During my last year at college, I decided to open my horizons, which is a fancy word for ‘legs.’”

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As corny as it may sound, I connect to these titles in large part because all of these women talk about the issues they have in their lives ­­­­­­­­­­­­— relationships, jobs, money, family — things that we all have to deal with. However, they have turned all these things into jokes, shedding light on serious and often sad, hurtful, or frustrating situations. All of these funny ladies have helped me to try to stop taking things so seriously and ultimately, to take the time to find the funny. 


All book photos by Amazon.com.



Allison Haskins holds a Journalism degree and is a freelance comedy writer.  In her spare time, the Massachusetts native attends as many stand-up shows as possible and listens to every comedy podcast she can get her hands on. Follow Allison on Twitter at Twitter.com/Alliehaskins.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

‘You Must Go and Win’ … Or At Least TRY to Make Some Kind of Effort

By WICF Contributor Allison Haskins


THIS BOOK HAS PICTURES!! I don’t care how old you are, it makes a book more exciting. I wanted to get that out there first and foremost in case you were having doubts about this kick-ass book review.

Alina Simone’s first novel, You Must Go and Win reads like a text book … if the text book were about castration and Eight Foot Brides (don’t worry — there are no castration pictures, but there ARE Eight Foot Bride ones!). There are parts of this book that are laugh out loud funny, parts that teach you about the Russian spiritualist group the Doukhorbors, and no shortage of Alina’s personal anecdotes which always manage to read as gloomy, comical, and inspirational, all at the same time.

Soon after her parents emigrated from Kharkov, Ukraine to a small town in Massachusetts when she was only one-year old, Alina became itchy to find her niche in the world. Music seemed to stand out to her and she thoroughly describes the personal struggle that it takes attempting to attain a successful music career — or for that matter, any big goal in life. She moved many times, lived in less than ideal places, often had audiences of a handful of souls, or even fewer, and finally toyed with the idea of throwing in the towel on indie rock music altogether.

After finishing You Must Go and Win, I was comforted to know that I am not alone in my overwhelming “Pessimistic-optimism”, as I like to call it. Alina, like me, seems to spend every waking moment having gigantic dreams and doing her best to accomplish them while simultaneously nitpicking and doubting every action. Alina chooses to fight the battle of pessimism by using some rare sources of inspiration. Of course, her Ph.D.-holding father is a man of few words, who, when he does speak, has some top notch insights to pass along – but then, too, the slogan of a courier service in New York is another area of inspiration for Alina, as well as…. Britney, bitch. (That’s right — Miss Spears can teach positive life lessons too!)

As said by the “Punk Monk” who is an actual real-day Monk who moonlights as Alina’s guru: “When you are not working on yourself, the world starts to work on you instead … you must acquire the skill to be yourself.” I love quotes like these because you can apply them to practically any situation and I honestly feel that any person could get something out of it. Go on, re-read that quote then take a minute and get lost in your fancy schmancy thoughts. You feel good now, right? Inspired? Told you!!

Another source of motivation for Alina was a Siberian punk-folk singer named Yanka Dyagileva (disclaimer: this book is not short on unpronounceable names). Alina was so touched by the songs and the life story of this artist that she has actually created a whole album covering her songs, ‘Everyone is Crying Out to Me, Beware,’ and has devoted several years to learning about and even living in Siberia.  New England winters are cold enough for me, thanks, but good you for, Alina!

I don’t want to have to include any spoiles in here, so just do yourself a favor and read the book. Or, if you’re not a fan of reading, yet you’ve managed to make it to the end of this review, you should at least take your tech-savvy butt to alinasimone.com.



Allison Haskins holds a Journalism degree and is a freelance comedy writer.  In her spare time, the Massachusetts native attends as many stand-up shows as possible and listens to every comedy podcast she can get her hands on. Follow Allison on Twitter at Twitter.com/Alliehaskins.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

“Perfect Couples”: 'Til Series Death Do Us Part

By WICF Contributor Allison Haskins


I first heard of the new sitcom Perfect Couples via comedian Jen Kirkman’s Twitter account (@JenKirkman). She twitted that she was going to be a writer on this new show. I was intrigued enough to get off Twitter for a half hour to watch the premier.

"Perfect Couples"
Photo credit: NBC
The show is molded around three thirty-something couples. Dave (Kyle Bornheimer) and Julia (Christine Woods), are the cool and fairly laid back couple. They are both slightly neurotic and jealous, but hey, so am I. Of note, I actually proved this when I took the online quiz “Which Perfect Couple Are You?” and came up with Dave & Julia. Couple two is Vance (David Walton) and Amy (Mary Elizabeth Ellis), who are a make-up-to-break-up duo. They feed on drama, but you would still want to hang out with them because they are so entertaining and ridiculous. Couple three is the most “perfect” of the group. Rex (Hayes MacArthur) and Leigh (Olivia Munn) are the love-at-first-sight and make-everyone-else-sick-with-their-cuteness couple. Simple enough plot. Basically, these three viewer-identifiable pairs are all friends and their differences make them mesh in quirky and complicated ways.

I initially thought this show had the potential to be really predictable. Naming off a list of sitcoms about couples and their issues is about as hard as falling on a tile floor covered in Vaseline. However, as I watched the first episode, I was delighted when I nearly peed in my hot pink pajama pants. It would have been worth the mess for a decent new sitcom. Also, to my great delight, the episodes continued to be funny. In the first few weeks I saw plot lines involving puke, shovel-throwing a dead possum over a roof, and drunken party crashing! High five to that! At the very least, I knew I was going to be able to get a few laughs at the expense of these morons.

Now as Season 1 of “Perfect Couples” comes to an end, rumors have been confirmed that the NBC series will be cancelled as of April 7th to try a different style of show in its place. I feel pretty confidant that the show could have make me chuckle for another season, but it was good quality while it lasted.




Allison Haskins holds a Journalism degree and is a freelance comedy writer.  In her spare time, the Massachusetts native attends as many stand-up shows as possible and listens to every comedy podcast she can get her hands on. Follow Allison on Twitter at Twitter.com/Alliehaskins.