That Comedian’s Girlfriend

By WICF Contributor Barbara Holm

Today Eddie Brill got fired for saying he doesn't think women comedians are authentic. I don’t celebrate anyone losing a job, but I am glad that there is some accountability for sexism in comedy. The stigma against women in comedy is diminishing. The best way we can change the perception of women in comedy is to be as funny as possible, keep working and help other funny women by booking them as often as we can.

"My unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism … ask yourself the following question: "Is this person in between me and what I want to do?" If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work, and outpacing people that way." -Tina Fey, Bossypants

I'm not surprised by Brill's comment. I know the demographic Letterman caters toward. But when everyone jumped down his throat, Brill dug his own grave whilst trying to defend himself. The very funny Amy Schumer told a reporter something to the extent that it seems like he doesn't book a lot of women. Eddie Brill's response was, "That comedian's girlfriend made up facts."

That comedian's girlfriend has her own Comedy Central presents and her own album. Brill apologized for identifying Amy that way so I'm not mad at him, but more so at the institutionalized sentiment I've seen from many comedy club bookers and members of the industry. I hate that if two comedians date, the woman is viewed as an extension of the man.

A few years ago I heard a club manager say to a friend of mine that the only reason women perform stand up is to get to date a male comic. Like male comics are some sort of prize that everyone wants? I don't think anyone throws themselves into the world of painful open mics, staying out late, and getting criticized while making no money just to meet someone. I am not doing stand up to get laid. That is offensive not only to women but to the art form of comedy.

"If you're gonna risk your reputation fucking comics, I suggest you pick funny ones." -Bonnie McFarlene, Shecky Magazine

The inverse has happened to me a few times, because I'm like, so pretty. (Sarcasm!) When I first started, one comedian told me that I would do well because I could fuck my way onto shows. I am really sensitive about the idea of a comedy groupie or anyone using their sexuality as an asset to get stage time. I’m not riding on my feminine wiles to enhance any aspect of my career and it makes me uncomfortable to think that anyone could or would do that. I guess the 'who you are dating' card may hold some smidgen of weight, but just as much as the 'who you are friends with' card and neither card works long term if you aren't funny.

Many of my comic girlfriends have been asked out, hit on, or flirted with by male comics, and that doesn't make them any more or less funny. It is inevitable when you're out every single night, clumped together for hours in a green room, drinking and talking. It happens. I developed a defense mechanism: when a male comic I don’t know talks to me, I retreat into a metaphoric turtle shell. It’s effective, but I don’t recommend it.

Women should never be defined as an extension of someone they’re dating, especially in regards to their value as an artist. So, if you see two comics dating, try to bite back the gossip jumping out of your mouth. If they’re funny, who cares? Don’t talk shit, and be as supportive of women as possible. If they are however in the small tragic minority of women who aren’t funny, the small group who do ride the casting couch, just ignore them. They will go away.

I guess my point regarding dating a comic is simply to be funny. Going back to what Tina said about institutionalized sexism, just ignore it and focus on getting funnier. That’s the bottom line. One of my best friends and comedy heroes gave the best advice ever: "I get worked up about that shit and then it's like you can't control what some idiots think. So, just work hard, prove them wrong, and make them hate themselves more" -Rylee Newton.


Barbara Holm is a stand-up comedian from Seattle, Washington. She has performed at Bridgetown Comedy Festival, The Women in Comedy Festival, and Bumbershoot Festival. She has been described as clever, creative and unique.

The Ideal Receptionist, As Imagined by the Older White Man on the Other End of the Phone

By WICF Contributor Barbara Holm


"Yeah, I do have weekend plans. And furthermore I feel totally
comfortable sharing them with a stranger."

"Oh my gosh, you got an attorney's voicemail? I cannot believe it! The
only possible explanation is that sinister wrongdoings have
transpired. Let me scour the building, nay, the world for him! No, of
course I won't put you on hold; I have a Bluetooth, sorry, sorry I
mean a magical wizard hat. I apologize for confusing you with my loud,
brassy slang. Just one second while I train this flamingo to cover the
front desk while I find your attorney, because I have nothing else to
do."

"You're right, I do have a slight lisp. Yes, it is hilarious that you
pointed out an obvious physical handicap of mine. Hahaha!"

"Yes, it is cold outside. It's good that weather happens."

"No, I didn't just accidentally call you “Dad,” sir ... I said, “rad.”"

"I AM in fact eating something! You caught me! Now you win a prize
elephant named Albert. Yeah, I know you really wanted that prize,
otherwise why else would a stranger identify my snack consumption?"

"So, you don't know who you're calling for, you're not sure if they
have ever worked at this office, and you haven't talked with them in
40 years, but you know that he/she played golf once with an Asian man?
Yes, I know exactly of whom you speak."

"Oh, fascinating."

“Wait a minute, are you telling me that you tried to call someone and
they didn’t call you back? WHAT MADNESS IS THIS PLACE?!”

"My voice sounds too childlike? Thank you so much for telling me!
Because I have complete control over it, so obviously I appreciate any
and all constructive feedback."

"Sorry, they aren't in the office at the moment. Oh, they're expecting
you? This. Changes. Everything."

"Good afternoon, thank you for calling- oh, er, um, Barbara ... Oh
really, that's your mom's name? How interesting. Yes, I do know her.
From the Great War."

"Of course I remember you from when you called two months ago."

"Wow, thank you so much for asking how my day is going! Someone in
this miserable world does care! I am going to telegram my mother to
tell her that I do matter. Sure, we wasted a few seconds of our lives
with small talk, but I'll make that time back tonight tenfold because
I won't have to lock myself in the bathroom and cut a tiny notch in my
arm!"

"No, TGIF to you, sir. TGIF to you."

Barbara Holm is a stand-up comedian from Seattle, Washington. She has performed at Bridgetown Comedy Festival, The Women in Comedy Festival, and Bumbershoot Festival. She has been described as clever, creative and unique.

Good Books by Funny Women!

By Contributor Barbara Holm


I love books so much that, when I was a kid, the only thing I wanted more than “to be a Monty Python” (Source: Me, Age ten) was to work at a bookstore. Funny books are usually my favorite, because I am a human and humans like laughing. Here are just a few of my favorite books by women in comedy:

***

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling

A few weeks ago someone asked me what my favorite book was, and I said it was this one without hesitation. My friend said, "That doesn’t count because your favorite book is always the last book you’ve read." However, I have since read a few books and this is still my favorite! It's a charming collection of essays ranging stylistically from true-life memoir stories to adorable anecdotes and lists.

I identified with a lot of the awkward stories of her childhood and was inspired by her work ethic. My favorite part was when she discussed writing the Off-Broadway play Matt and Ben, which turned out to be the door that led to The Office. I think this chapter humbly downplays how talented, creative, and driven she and her friend were to write, produce, direct, promote and star in a comedy play. Mindy writes, “Because no one would hire us to act or write, Brenda and I decided to create something to perform in ourselves.” It also showed me that if you have a dream (for example, to write for TV), don't wait for the dream job to fall in your lap, start working at it now, because if you don't, it might never happen.

***

Bossypants by Tina Fey 

I've read a few books about SNL and a many that were autobiographies of comedians, but few that were this laugh out loud funny, thoughtful and charismatic. The different stories weave together to depict the amazing life of a woman who is passionate, ambitious, strong and hilarious.

My favorite part of the book was the chapter "I don't care if you like it." The story is about Jimmy Fallon telling Amy Poehler one of her jokes wasn't "cute," and she said, "I don't fucking care if you like it." Fey says this embodies her outlook on sexism in comedy: If old, unfunny men tell the media that women aren't funny, she doesn’t care if they like it. Fey writes, "Is this person in between me and what I want to do? If the answer is no, ignore it and move on." It’s wonderful advice for anyone (not just women) in an artistic profession.

***

I Don't Care About Your Band: What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I've Dated by Julie Klausner 

This dating memoir cracked me up, and I'm usually bored by dating memoirs. The stories are as ridiculous, loud and funny as Julie Klausner herself. While I don't take everything she preaches as gospel, I love the main theme of the book. Throughout so many dating horror stories, Klausner consistently insists that women should be confident, strong and not bend to a man's wishes. She encourages against girls who infantalize themselves for men, and girls like Miss Piggy who beg and plead for an indifferent Kermit. It’s a fast, funny read calling on women to unabashedly be themselves. (Klausner is a WICF alumna).

***

I Totally Meant to Do That by Jane Borden 

I had the pleasure of meeting Jane Borden (a Women in Comedy Festival alumna!) a few times, and I always thought she was genuinely kind and I really liked her. When her book came out, my admiration grew into: “holy crap this girl is funny and awesome.” The book is a collection of memoir-style stories about a southern girl moving to New York. It’s hilarious and well written, with a distinct voice. “I totally meant to do that” is charming and quirky and reminds me of David Sedaris, or a happier Augusten Burroughs.

***

The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee by Sarah Silverman

I didn't expect this book to affect me the way it did. Sarah's stand-up is slightly impersonal, fiction-based and relies on a character. So when I picked up her book to casually browse through it, I was surprised when a full hour later I was fully engrossed and so touched I was fighting back tears. While hilarious, the memoir is nakedly sincere and honest, employing a courage that many comedy books lack. I loved learning about her early forays into stand-up and was impressed with the way she threw herself wholeheartedly into the craft at a young age. One part I liked was the chapter "Make it a treat," where Sarah says if something is incredibly special she tries not to overuse it, which is a strategy I then applied to my own comedy writing.

***

All of these books are wonderful and changed my life in tiny ways through giving me comedy or life advice. I think it’s important as an artist to read as much as possible, to fill oneself with creative input. More than anything, reading all these hilarious books by women just inspires me to one day hope to write my own.



Barbara Holm is a stand-up comedian from Seattle, Washington. She has performed at Bridgetown Comedy Festival, The Women in Comedy Festival, and Bumbershoot Festival. She has been described as clever, creative and unique.

It's Not a Competition

By Contributor Barbara Holm


A few days ago, I worked the door at a comedy club and I also did a short guest spot on the show. The good thing about working the door at a comedy club is that you get to hang out and talk to other comedians a lot. The bad thing about working the door is that you’re stuck in the box office for an hour so you have to talk to other comedians a lot. As I was setting up the cash register, a more established road headliner comedian walked through the doors. Let’s call her Sally.

I said, “Hi, Sally,” (No I didn’t, because that’s not her real name, but just leave the fourth wall alone and go with me, okay?) politely as she came in.

Sally’s face went white with horror and her eyes grew big and she yelped back cheerfully, “Hi!” She disappeared into the show room and came back five minutes later and said, “Hey, Barbara.” I figured she’d forgotten my name earlier, which was fine. We didn’t know each other that well. With an overcompensating smile on her face, Sally said, “I guess I’m closing out the showcase. I’m doing my [regular] set. I’m sure you alternative hipster comics will hate it but you’ll be too busy talking about your ironic hoodies to worry about it.” She winked.

What I should have said was, “No, you’re great. We love your set.” What I actually said was, “This isn’t an ironic hoodie; it’s a UCB hoodie.”

There are not a finite number of spots for female comedians on a show bill.

I don't respond well to catty girl comments. I can’t digest an insult wrapped in a compliment burrito, especially not from people I don’t know that well. Admittedly, I can be incredibly self deprecating, but I try to draw the line when it makes others feel uncomfortable.

Sally blinked. “What’s UCB?”

My face fell, devastated that I would ever have to answer this question. “The Upright Citizen’s Brigade. You know … Amy Poehler, Matt Besser-”

Sally interrupted me, “Oh yeah, of course I know.”

Another comedian, one of my very funny friends, Jesse, approached the ticket booth and quietly started rifling through his notebook while mumbling something about feeling frustrated. “Don’t worry, Jesse,” Sally said, loud enough for the entire bar area to hear. “Barbara here will be your comedy groupie!”

My eyes went black with rage, and I felt an Eowyn from Lord of the Rings-style vehement anger as I looked at her and quietly said, “I ain’t no fucking comedy groupie.”

A comedy groupie is a woman (notice there is no derogatory word for it if a man does it) who is a fan of comedy and has sex with headlining comedians. This person is usually not a comedian herself and has also been referred to as a “starfucker,” “chucklefucker,” and other horribly offensive names. Cute young girl comics will occasionally have this title incorrectly thrust upon them. I am a comedian; I am not riding on my sexuality to get booked on shows, nor am I in comedy for any reason other than to get funnier.

A group of audience members came up to the box office so I turned my attention to them and Sally went down to the green room. When the audience members left, the show started and the box office became very slow. I picked up my copy of Mindy Kaling’s book “Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?” (which is wonderfully well written and hilarious) and started reading. Sally came back to the box office.

“I’ve been asking about you downstairs,” she said. I looked up from my book, raising my eyebrows. “They say you’re really funny, but I said you’re too thin to be funny.”

I closed my books and folded my arms. This was another backhanded compliment designed to make me feel insecure about my comedic abilities. Deadpan, I said, “Oh, there’s a weight requirement to writing a good joke?”

I can’t digest an insult wrapped in a compliment burrito, especially not from people I don’t know that well.

Sally didn’t answer this and instead indicated my book. “Oh my gosh, that book is too cute. The cover is sickeningly adorable. Of course you’re reading something that cute.”

Defensively, I said, “What could you possibly have against Mindy Kaling?”

“I don’t know who that is.”

I gasped in horror. I was disturbed by the fact that anyone in comedy, let alone someone with a swagger, could not know who Mindy Kaling was. Luckily, before I could say anything, the manager came to tell me to come down to the showroom and get my butt on stage. I packed up the cashbox and headed down. I did really well on the show. Sally, however, bombed. As she was putting on her coat after the show, I said, “Good seeing you, Sally.”

“Good set, Barbie!” she said, in a nasally sarcastic voice.

“What is your problem with me?” I asked.

“I don’t have a problem with you,” she said, her voice rising to a higher pitch to imitate mine.

I shrugged and turned to leave. I hate that female comedians can be so passive aggressively competitive. We aren’t in competition with other women in our profession; we’re in competition with everyone. Men might try to pit us against each other so that they don’t have to compete with us, but we should never do it to ourselves. Women in comedy should work together, help each other up. It’s easier if we support each other instead of using high school passive aggressive backstabby language. There are not a finite number of spots for female comedians on a show. It’s hard enough for us to learn the complexities of the beautiful world of joke writing without having to compare ourselves to every other woman in the show. Also, the people who make comics feel jealous or competitive are exactly the people you should be friends with because they’re funny and ambitious and will push you and support you to be your best. We don’t need to put each other down to look better. I don’t know what’s going to happen with my or Sally’s careers, but I do know that I will never treat a younger funny female comic as a threat when I could be trying to make a friend.



Barbara Holm is a stand-up comedian from Seattle, Washington. She has performed at Bridgetown Comedy Festival, The Women in Comedy Festival, and Bumbershoot Festival. She has been described as clever, creative and unique.

Jackie Kashian Has Mass Appeal

By WICF Contributor Barbara Holm

Having arrived at Laugh's Comedy Spot (laughscomedy.com) an hour and a half early, I nervously drank about ten glasses of water while sitting in the back of the room. One of the bartenders, Aaron, sat next to me and asked what my napkin had done to me to deserve being shredded into confetti. I told him that I was anxious about hosting because the headliner, Jackie Kashian, was really awesome and funny and I didn't want to do poorly as an MC. He laughed and reminded me that Jackie was super nice, and told me I should stop being a scaredy cat and act like a grown up adult, which I am.

Jackie Kashian, WICF 2010 Headliner

Both shows went really well. Jackie, who has had a Comedy Central half hour special, has been doing stand up for 22 years. She's one of the strongest headliners I've had the pleasure to work with. She's likeable, funny and smart, with very engaging, interesting stories replete with ample punchlines. A past headliner of the Women in Comedy Festival, she was nice enough to give me a little interview in between shows. Jackie started in comedy in Wisconsin, and moved to Minneapolis after completing college. Six years later, she did the Aspen Comedy Festival and then moved to L.A.

About moving to L.A., Jackie said, “Whenever you move to a new town, you have to prove you're funny again and you can't be too cocky about it; that was the downfall of several comics I met who moved there after me. They were like, "I'm huge in Chicago." Yeah, but there's 10,000 comics. You gotta reintroduce. If you're super funny it helps. It'll be easier.”

Jackie said her favorite up and coming comics/best kept secrets in comedy are Erin Foley, Aparna Nancherla, Mary Mack, and Dave Ross. Her all time favorites are Maria Bamford and Dana Gould. She tried to name every comedian in the world but we had to move on. Earnestly and sweetly, she said she felt bad because she knew she was forgetting people.

I asked her if she had any advice for new comedians. Jackie said that the best advice she ever got is posted on her website (jackiekashian.com), and came from Vanda Michaels:

1. Never compare yourself 

2. Be yourself 

3. Take risks 

4. Don't go for the obvious 

5. Be patient a. With your creativity, and b. With your career 

6. Have fun

Jackie thoughtfully added, “The most important part is the have fun part because I know people who keep doing it and they're angry and I'm like, stop doing it, there's other work, there's easier work ... It's comedy. It's so supposed to be fun."

Jackie has been hosting a popular podcast called "The Dork Forest" for six years. The premise is that Jackie and her guests talk about all things dorky and anything they may feel nerdy about. It's based on a hilarious joke she does about the dork forest:

“Now everyone's like, 'I have a tree in the dork forest.' Then they'd tell me that they knit. And I'd be like, 'I don't think of knitting as a dorkdom' but it is, because everything is, whatever weird - 'Oh, you collect sneakers? Okay.'”

One of the many things I love about Jackie is that she appeals to alternative comedy crowds, but also to a mainstream audience. Most comedians seem to be one or the other. She can work vegan coffee shops in Portland, and also comedy clubs on the road. About this concept, Jackie said, “About four years ago I was worried about it, but then I kinda embraced it ... I would describe myself as the golden retriever of stand-up comedy because basically any room is on board. For a while I was worried about it. I called Maria (Bamford) and I said, "Does that make me a hack?" And she said, "No, it just means for some reason that you're accessible.'” Jackie said she wasn't trying to appeal to any specific niche. She was just trying to talk about what she found funny in an honest, real way. This effort is clear in her act, which is comprised of intelligent, sincere, truthful and hysterical anecdotes. “So I don't know how I'm doing it, but stand-up comedy, as you keep doing it, you find what you want to talk about and you find out how to talk about the normal stuff that everyone talks about. Like I talk about being married, oh my god that's been addressed. But part of it is my discovery of it, which makes it my own angle.”

Jackie Kashian is an amazing headliner with smart, punchy, tight stories and a likeable delivery. She was a delight to chat with and an inspiration to work with.

Jackie is headlining the Laughing Skull in Atlanta, October 6th-9th. For more information about upcoming dates, check out jackiekashian.com.



Barbara Holm is a stand-up comedian from Seattle, Washington. She has performed at Bridgetown Comedy Festival, The Women in Comedy Festival, and Bumbershoot Festival. She has been described as clever, creative and unique.

Meeting Amy Schumer at Bumbershoot

By WICF Contributor Barbara Holm

After watching ten hours of stand up in three days at a festival, a normal human might be tired or ready to go live in the real world. Luckily, I’m not programmed that way. Instead, I found myself weaving quickly through hundreds of festival-goers enjoying the last days of warmth before 10 months of rain. Ignoring the sun-kissed populace, I made my way into a dark indoor theater. I snagged a front row seat in what was about to be another sold out comedy show.

Bumbershoot, Seattle’s Labor Day weekend performance arts festival, is in its 40th year. I saw a lot of amazing stand up, including but not limited to Hari Kondabolu, Amy Schumer, Anthony Jeselnik, Andy Haynes, Rory Scovel, and Baron Vaughn. On the local stage (which was booked by Seattle’s People’s Republic of Komedy) my favorites were Rylee Newton, Ian Karmel and Mike Drucker.

Amy Schumer was wonderful in the festival. Her writing is so tight; she had a punchline in practically every single sentence. Relying on garden path sentences and misdirection, she established herself as a clever one-liner comic, without being obvious about telegraphing in which direction the punchline would go. She is a very witty joke writer with cheerful, confident delivery.

After the show I just happened to run into Amy, completely on purpose. I was shy and awkward, but she was nice, sincere and even let me ask her a few questions about comedy! Amy has been doing stand up for seven years, which is impressive considering she has a super funny Comedy Central Presents and has performed on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. She placed fourth on Last Comic Standing when she was only three years in. I asked her if she was scared on that show and she said, “No, I knew I just had to have fun with it and enjoy every minute of it.” It was such a positive message that I am going to try to apply it to my own approach for work.


Video of Amy Schumer taking on a heckler. For more videos, see her website www.amyschumer.com.

Amy grew up on Long Island and began her comedy career in New York City. I’m always interested in how people feel about starting out in such a large, competitive scene. Amy articulately and sweetly explained, “I equate it to learning how to surf. If you learn how to surf on the short board, you can surf on anything. If you learn on a long board, you can only surf on that.” And New York City is definitely the shortest of the comedy surf boards.

A question I love asking headliners is whether they have any advice for new comedians, and they almost always say some form of the same thing — so it must be true. “Stage time,” Amy said confidently. “That’s it. There’s no shortcut.”

Amy Schumer was hilarious and smart on stage, establishing herself as one of the stronger comedians on the festival. She was extraordinarily friendly, funny and earnest in conversation and overall delightfully inspirational for me.

Amy’s album Cutting (which is great!) was released in April of this year. She has a recurring role on the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. For more information, go to www.amyschumer.com.



Barbara Holm is a stand-up comedian from Seattle, Washington. She has performed at Bridgetown Comedy Festival, The Women in Comedy Festival, and Bumbershoot Festival. She has been described as clever, creative and unique.

Sexualized Heckling

Part Three of a Three-Part Response to the Status Quo, Diversity and Misogyny in Comedy

Part I: No Offense, White Boys: Diversity in Comedy and the Rapeprov Happening by Pam Victor

Part II: When a Friend's Monologue Sounds Like a Confession of Sexual Violence by Jen Ducharme

By WICF Contributor Barbara Holm

I’m not trying to brag, but I get heckled a lot. Usually it’s something questioning my mental stability, like, “You’re weird,” or, “That’s too fucked up.” To which I can usually laugh and say, “You’re welcome.” After so many nights of drunken self esteem deflation, I rarely get angry at the audience for talking or heckling.

Heckling is an unfortunate obstacle that most of us will have to surmount. It’s important to respect the audience, because they paid to support art, and without them we wouldn’t be able to perform. However, last week for the first time, I felt sexualized by a heckler. He yelled out, “She looks like she knows how to give a good blowjob.”

It’s hard to describe exactly how completely disgusting and disempowering it feels to be sexually objectified when you’re trying to do something artistic. Violated, red faced, and shaking with rage, I attempted to process my emotions. I was confused because I had done a relatively clean set. What specifically about my robot and ghost one-liners had elicited that impression? Why had my creative and intellectual integrity been disregarded and my personality been diminished and reduced to that of its sexual worth? And what exactly does a girl who looks like she knows how to give a good blowjob look like, anyway? Printout from Wikipedia in hand, highlighted and noted with frowny faces over the “I"s?

Abandoning my joke halfway through, I froze and glared offstage into the lights. I did not laugh and role off it. I wanted the audience and the other comics to know sexual objectification was intolerable to me. I muttered a few comebacks and closed with, “I hope you feel really bad about yourself.” This got more applause than it deserved, probably because it was a very poignant, honest statement. Although fuming and desecrated, I knew it was probably bad form that I displayed irritation towards an audience member. When I apologized to the club manager, who is the kindest man in the world, Carl Warmenhoven, he waved away my apology with, “Gracefulness is not always required.”

A few days later the heckler showed up at the club again, as a prospective open mic comic. He approached me, put his arm around my shoulders, and said, “I’m sorry for that last show, you’re just actually beautiful.” First of all, “actually”? Like there’s something surprising about my attractiveness? Second of all, who the hell apologizes to someone for sexualizing them while putting their arm around them? That is unacceptable. In that instance I wished I was Rogue from the X-Men, as to make the embrace more comfortable for me. I said, “Not to be rude but I respect my own intimacy and sexual boundaries and so you’re not allowed to touch me.” I’ve gone to way too much therapy and I am much too assertive to know how to make friends anymore.

I’m not writing about this to be like, “Oh man, I’m such a victim, feel sorry for me.” Unless you want to, then go right ahead. The situation greatly affected me and I am sure that it is a common experience for many women. One of my friends had someone yell, “Take your top off,” when she was onstage. She retorted, “But I’m trying to make everyone laugh, so why don’t you take your pants off instead.” Comedians should be prepared to be heckled.

There’s not a lot you can do to prevent sexual objectification from happening in the first place, or if there is, I’m still figuring it out. I try to remember that even if someone judges me based on my worth as a sexual object, I can never judge myself on that rubric. If anyone sexually objectifies me in comedy, I try not to internalize that revolting, draining feeling of submission. That concession is the first step towards sexually objectifying oneself onstage.

No matter what your act is, you are a more important element of the show than just a pair of tits enveloping a microphone. A few women in the audience told me they were glad I showed genuine frustration as opposed to twirling my hair and giggling. If we respect ourselves and the stage and our material, it takes power away from those who disrespect us. Hecklers might try to sexualize me, but I will never sexualize myself because I respect my act and the art. Stand up comedy is one of the highest most pure and beautiful art forms and I am very proud to perform it.

Barbara Holm is a stand-up comedian from Seattle, Washington. She has
performed at Bridgetown Comedy Festival, The Women in Comedy Festival,
and Bumbershoot Festival. She has been described as clever, creative
and unique.