Smart people, I hate you. You make it impossible for me to read Harry Potter, Terry Pratchett, and The Hundred And One Dalmatians in peace just because they're not difficult to read.
Some people, it seems, are under the impression that if you don't have to read a paragraph at least three times before you understand it, it's just too simple.
To you, hats off. Either you are willing to struggle through a book just to seem superior, or you genuinely like these confusing things and that is a thing I can begrudgingly look up to.
What brought this up? Well this morning I started reading A Clockwork Orange. I know what you're thinking "No, you should NOT eat green eggs and ham. Those are moldy"... either that or "Grace, everybody has read A Clockwork Orange, you're just dumb." Well, you know what, that's probably true. But you're a jerk, so shut your cakehole for a minute, okay?
I got to the second page before I put the book down (which is a huge deal, let me tell you. I read like a crazy person) because of this paragraph:
"Our pockets were full of deng, so there was no real need from the point of view of crasting any more pretty polly to tolchok some old veck in an alley and viddy him swim in his blood while we counted the takings and divided by four, nor to do the ultra-violent on some shivering starry grey-haired ptitsa in a shop and go smecking off with the till's guts."
Okay, I could make out some of that. But WHAT?
What on earth did I just read? Am I insane or dumb to not really want to continue this book?
You know what, maybe it gets better. I'll try and keep reading, to be fair.
How about this, though? What would you do if a twenty-something year old said that he liked Shakespeare? Slap him? That would absolutely be my first reaction too. Followed by: that's a lie. Then: He's got some serious problems.
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